Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
