need another drink. this is the easiest way
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
