Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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