plz talk dirty to me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
