I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
