I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
