Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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