I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
