My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
