I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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