i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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