jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
