shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize