If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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