Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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