I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
