Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
