i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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