I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I will be naked everywhere
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
