just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
