Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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