You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
