did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
