i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
