She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize