so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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