Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
