The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
