I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
