Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
