Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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