Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
