ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm passing your future prison.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
