Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
