My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
