do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
