Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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