Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's the barista slut.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
