I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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