Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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