Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
