I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
