I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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