I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
