i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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