if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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