just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
