Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
