sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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