Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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