Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
