we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
