Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize