Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
