guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I believe in your delicious
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
