Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
