Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
