Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
