ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
